Royal Ascension, Electricity and a Dancing Prima Donna

(Kaiyia and Mysti are playing barbies. Kaiya is being Cinderella and Mysti is being Snow White)
Kaiya: *in a Cinderella voice* Today I am going to become queen. My mom and dad died because they were attacked by aliens. I hid and didn’t get hurt except for a gonk on the head. I am a tough girl. My parents should have been tough and smart and hid like me.

(Tom is trying to explain wiring to Kaiya.)
Tom: See the wire running to that light? Electricity runs along that wire and lights up the bulb.
Kaiya: Oh... that sounds pretty boring.
Tom: It does? Oh...
Mysti: Kaiya, glitter pens are fun and pretty right?
Kaiya: Yes, they are so fun.
Tom: I think electricity is fun.
Kaiya: Nope it’s pretty boring.

(Morgan is dressed up like Cinderella. Mysti came up and started dancing with her, then this happened.)
Morgan: (with her fists on her hips) Mom, you can’t spin me! (Folds her arms and fixes Mysti with a withering glare.) It is my life!!!

Santa Power!

Kaiya (pretending a box is Santa's slay and she is Santa): I have presents in the back for all the people. To make them happy. With Santa Power.

Morgan: Mommy look what I have. (holds up a small toy)
Mysti: Nice! Did you find that?
Morgan: No! I found it!

Morgan (pretending to be a baby): *yelling* GOO GOO GOO!!!!
Kaiya: That isn't a very nice thing to say.

Morgan: I not shy. I Morgan, and I three.

My complements to the baby!

Morgan (whine voice): Mom, Kaiya kicked me!
Mysti: What happened?
Morgan: Kaiya kicked me. *pout lip*
Mysti: I know that part. Why did she kick you?
Mysti: Kaiya, why did you kick Morgan?
Kaiya: She was being mean to me!
Mysti: How was she mean to you?
Kaiya: She was going “Rar rar rar, I am being mean to you!”.
Mysti: I don’t think that is what she was doing.
Kaiya: She did for real!

(Tom is talking to Evalyn in the morning.)
Tom: That is a very full dipper, very full indeed. My complements to the baby.

Kaiya: She hurt my head - my beautiful, beautiful head.

Kaiya: Mom, Evey’s steeling my lunch! My kitty lunch!

Kaiya: Mom, I’m going through a growth spurt.
Mysti: That is so great!
Morgan: I want to go to! Where are we going?

The leatherback VS the maned wolves!

Kaiya: Mom lets play a game!
Mysti: I would love to. What would you like to play?
Kaiya: Mom, I’m a leatherback sea turtle. I am going to lay my eggs. You are Diego, and you need to keep the wolves away while I hide them.
( Kaiya pretends to swim and says “swim swim swim swim” while pretending.)
Kaiya: Now I dig a nest. (pretends to dig) Dig dig dig dig. (pretends to lay the eggs) Lay lay lay (pretends to cover up her eggs) bury bury bury berry. Smooth smooth smooth smooth.
Mysti: OK I kept the wolfs away, and I will protect your eggs for you.
Kaiya: Now I am going to go for a swim. You watch my eggs. (pretends to swim off) swim swim swim swim.
Kaiya: Help help help! I got trapped in a net by maned wolves!
Mysti: OK. I am getting in my boat.
Kaiya: Hurry hurry! They have me hanging over a volcano full of hot lava!!!
Mysti: I am coming fast to save you. (Mysti pretends to climb the volcano couch and rescue her.)
Kaiya: Lets hurry back to my babies.
Mysti: Climb in the boat and we will go.
( They make it back just in time to see the eggs hatch. What a great day with all of the turtles safe! )

I like me!

(Kaiya had a scratch on her pinky finger and the next day we made baking soda volcanoes. Kaiya and Morgan spent about a half hour splashing in the goo until the scratch started to sting. Tom put a band-aid on it for her then she said this.)
Kaiya: Mom, look I have a booboo. It’s OK though, because now I can hold a tea cup. (mimes holding a cup) Look my pinky is already up!

Jordan (a cousin): Morgan who do you like better BYU or Utah?
Morgan: I like Morgan.

Kaiya: I love everyone on our world because they are so kind and sweet to me.

Morgan: I want the pink cereal. Pink is yummy.

Who you calling Sucker?

Morgan: Mommy, where we going?
Mysti: I think I’m going crazy. I think you are going to drive.
Morgan: No! I have to be in the back, in my car seat.

Kaiya: Abooga booga booga! I’m nocturnal.
Morgan: Booga booga booga! I’m a turtle.

Morgan: I want an ice pop! I want an ice pop! Ice pop! Ice pop!
Mysti: Morgan, Good things come to those who wait.
Morgan: Huh? Give me an ice pop.

Morgan: My ice pop is all gone.
Kaiya: Than get another one, Sucker.
Morgan: I not a sucker, I Morgan.

Beware the robot pirates!

Morgan (tattling voice): Mom, the baby is playing with me.
Mysti: OK thanks for letting me know.
Mysti (to Viola): Good girl keep playing with your big sister.

Kaiya and Morgan: Aarrrggghhhh we are robot pirates!
Kaiya: We came to fight bad guys. *starts chopping Mysti’s leg with a sward*
Mysti: Aarrgghh That be me wooden leg. Ye can’t hurt a bad guy pirate’s wooden leg!
Kaiya: *starts punching Mysti in the butt* Punch Punch! You can’t hurt us because we have shiny armor on that makes it so we can’t get hurt!

Morgan: Mom I want some more chocolate cake.
Mysti: Oh no this is broccoli cake!
Morgan (Thinks about this) Mom, No it isn’t!

Kaiya: (to Mysti) I will always draw pictures for you, because I love you.

Morgan: Hi friend.
Kaiya: My name is not friend, it is Princess!

Forest Creatures

Kaiya: It is no fun jumping on leaves unless you are mouses. Mouses can make trampolines out of leaves and it is so fun…..Oh that would be so cute to watch.

(Kaiya and Morgan are pretending to get married)
Mysti: Kaiya, your wife is so lovely. I wish I had a Morgan like yours. How did you ever get lucky enough to find her?
Kaiya: Oh I just found her in the forest.

Morgan: Lets break your neck mom.

Smells like spider.

Kaiya: That was my idea. I thought of it with my brain.
Mysti: Yep. Your brain works great.
Kaiya: All of ours do. But not Daddy’s.

Kaiya: My butt smells like a little bit of spider.
Mysti: *giggle*
Kaiya: What? Does it smell like chicken?
Mysti: I think it is smells closer to chicken than spider.

Morgan: I’m hungry, I need some butter with toast.

Kaiya: Mom, if you get to big for that ball you just give it to me.

Bad parenting.

Kaiya: My parents won’t let me do what ever I want to do! They are just such mean heads! They should let me do what I want to do. They are so boring, boring, boring!

Tom: Kaiya, get back to bed now.
Kaiya: But I want to read a book in bed!
Tom: You stay up too late when you have books in bed. Leave it there and go back to bed.
Kaiya: DAAAAAD! You’re being such a weenie!

The fro-hawk!

(Tom got a mohawk)

Tom: Mysti, you have absolutely no poker face. If disapproval was a jacket you would be wearing it right now.

Mysti: I am just sad. You uglied up my husband something fierce.

Tom (often resembles Robert Pattinson): Who looks like Edward now? Punk’s not dead, it’s undead!

Sleepy Ramblings

( After one hour of sleep in 48 hours Tom was slurring and VERY incoherent. He had been working on the over-the-top Halloween decorations and costumes for his office party. )

Tom: So it was a morning…..I don’t remember what morning they all blended together. So it was this morning and I was in the cubicle, the one by the Vampires. So I was working away on these costumes….workety workety workety. And then I was all like “I need a drink who wants a drink?” And they were like “ get me diet Mountain Dew!” So I was getting the drinks and thinking of the rubber mouses, because that’s just not right! Then this little mouse scurried out and along the wall - scurry, scurry, scurry (makes little scurrying motions with his hands) - then it ran right under the vending machine! Then I thought, “That is so weird because those vending machines don’t even have Mountain Dew. I have to go to the other break room!”

Tom: I’m not a little girl. But I work with one every day.

Tom (girley voice): ooohhh Toast! Thank you, my butter knife!

Tom (addressing his foot, which wiggles when he is tired): You just stop that wiggling, foot. You stop it now. You are going to give us away, you traitor. *sssshhhh*

Mysti: OK, Tom you don’t have to sleep. Just go up to the bed room. I took apart the bed and turned it into a time machine. You just lay down on it and time travel to the next morning.
Tom: *hmph* You’re not stupid, me! You won’t be fooled.

Tom: My nipple? It’s a different person? (pointing to nipple) Sucker! You just got your shock on!

Tom: We have to go watch the Red Dwarf on the big screen.
Mysti: No we need to stay upstairs because my legs hurt.
Tom: No. I will carry you it will be awesome. Like a slide!
Mysti: No I’ll turn it on upstairs on the net book.
Tom: But the little screen is lame and my sleepy eyes can’t focus on it…..Not that I’m sleepy, or have eyes.

Tom: Why am I not this funny all the time? I’m awesome. I should stay up all the time on an all Rockstar diet.

Tom: Are you going to unfriend Bookface me?

It's Wogurt!

Morgan: I need a glass slipper.
Kaiya: No you are a big dog. Big dogs don’t need glass slippers.

Kaiya: My hair is so pretty and so is my cloths. It is a pretty day!

Kaiya: Mommy, can you tie on this cape? I am going to be a super hero so that I can save days!

Morgan: I want ‘anilla wogurt.
Kaiya: Morgan, it’s banilla. Say Ba … nilla
Morgan: Banilla. … Say Wo …. gurt. Wogurt!

Kaiya (to Morgan): Oh, servant. I need more food!

Morgan: *gasp* Daddy home! I love him so much!

Mud, Swards and Diamonds

Morgan: I’m sleeping tooty!

Kaiya: I have a guitar, now all I need is some shades.

Kaiya: Our babies will always be in our hearts. I adore them so much! They are just so adorable.

Kaiya (to Evalyn): I love you so much snuggle buddy.
Evalyn: *giggle* (pat Kaiya on the face).

Tom: Are you going to be a rock-star today, Mysti?
Mysti: I am at least going to drink like one.

Morgan: I need my diamond cloths. I’m so cold!
Tom: You need your diamond cloths?
Morgan: No! I need DIAMOND cloths!!!
Tom: Man, you are expensive.

Kaiya: Mom, What is the hardest part of being an octopus?
Mysti: Ummm. I don’t know, what?
Kaiya: It takes so long to wash your hands for dinner!

Kaiya: I like loud things.
Mysti: Is that why you love Morgan so much?
Kaiya: Yes it is.
Mysti (to Viola): You are not loud though. You are squeaky.
Kaiya: Don’t worry Viola. I love you even though you are not loud.

Kaiya: Mom, If you are not going to let me watch T.V. all day then I am going to just strut away.

Mysti: Morgan we don’t sword fight with butter knifes.

Kaiya: Daddy, you are full of awesome!

Kaiya: Daddy, you keep us safe with your sword that chops heads off!

Kaiya: Who wants mud cup cakes?!

Morgan: Mommy, I need a snack. I need cup cakes!

Viola (sing song vioce): Dada dada iddle diddle dadadadaiddle.

Tom: Let go of my face or I will ……………. tickle you!

Tom: Can’t you just hug me?
Morgan: No!
Tom: Can’t you just kiss me?
Morgan: NO!
Tom: Can’t you just love me?
Morgan: NO!
Tom: Can’t you just think I’m great?
Morgan: No!
Tom: Can’t you just let me zerbit your tummy?
Morgan (giggle): No….
Tom (blows on the belly)
Morgan: (giggle) Do it again!

Penguins!

Kaiya: Dad, is your brain sleepy?
Tom: No.
Kaiya: Then you should use it.

Kaiya: Morgan, what where you playing?
Morgan: Because.
Kaiya: Because why?
Morgan Because.

Mysti: Look at this, Morgan. I can stick this spoon to my nose.
Morgan: I need to do that!
Mysti: OK. I’ll just help you.
Morgan: No I because.

Morgan (singing): Old Mc Donald’s had a farm E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had some stickies E-I-E-I-O.

Morgan: Look it’s a penguin *bock bock*.
Morgan (singing): Penguin penguin little fishy in the sea.
Mysti: Morgan, penguins do swim, but they are birds.
Morgan: Oh…..*tweet tweet*.

The crying... The crying...

Tom: Morgan, you need a belt.
Morgan: No, I don’t want to need a belt any more!
Tom: That made no sense. Were you trying to make sense.
Morgan: No.

Kaiya (hugging Tom‘s arm): I am just so snuggly to day. We can never stop the snuggles! We just need to snuggle forever.

Kaiya: Daddy, I have a good idea. Whoever stays in the tub the longest can have a piece of candy.
Tom: You are the only one in the tub though.
Kaiya (big smile): I know that was the idea!

Morgan (screaming): I want Mommy ti brush my teeth!
Tom: She did brush your teeth.
Morgan (screaming): I want Mommy ti brush my teeth!
Tom: She did already.
Morgan (screaming): I want Mommy ti brush my teeth!
Tom: She did. I know she brushed your teeth.
Morgan (screaming): I want Mommy ti brush my teeth!
Tom (louder): She did brush your teeth!

Mysti (to her brother): Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to go on a slapping spree?

A good choice.

Kaiya: Mom, you just get older and older every day.

Morgan: No! I no want to go to Grandema’s house any more… I want to go home.

Kaiya: Mommy, when I’m a grownup, I won’t bug Morgan. But when Morgan’s a grownup, she’ll never stop the bugging.

Kaiya: Mom, you have two choices, one: you can let me go to a friend’s house, or two: you can say no and I will be mad and sad all at the same time. Now make a good choice.

Morgan: Mom, I am so full. Can I have some of that bread?

Mysti: Morgan, say ah.
Viola: Aaahhhh!

School, friends and Orca Whales

Mysti: Doesn't your brother have an android phone or something?
Tom: It's a Palm Pre.
Mysti: When is your brother's birthday?
Tom: I don't know.
Mysti: *giggle*
Tom: What?
Mysti: I love that you know what kind of phone he has, but you don't know his birthday. The male social dynamics are very entertaining to me.

(Sadie is the girl across the street.)
Kaiya: "Mom, I am just going out to get a quick Sadie."

Kaiya: Mom, I learned lots of things at school.
Me: What did you learn today?!
Kaiya: I don't know. I can't remember

Kaiya: I love Morgan, Evalyn and Viola. Lets keep them.

Morgan: Mommy, Kaiya is gone. Now I no bug her!

Morgan: Mwa ha ha ha ha! I sitting in your chair, Kaiya.

Kaiya: Mommy, with that necklace on you are just as pretty as Ponyo. You look just as pretty as a fish.

(Morgan's new favorite toy is a stuffed Orca Whale.)
Morgan: It isn’t a flipper! It is an orca tail!

Morgan : *shouting* Mom where are you!
Mysti: I am just over here.
Morgan: *loud whisper* Shhh. The orca is sleeping!

Mysti: Morgan, do you want to push a button?
Morgan: Yes! (pushes the button) teehee.

Kaiya: Mom, can I paint a picture for you? You can paint one for me too. It will be so romantic. *sigh*

Aug 15th to 28th 2010

Tom: Where did you get such a cute little butt?
Kaiya: Uhhh. Jesus made it?

Kaiya: I’m making a gun.
Tom: What are you going to shoot with it?
Kaiya: Uh you.

Tom ( putting parmesan cheese on pasta) : Morgan say when.
Morgan: I win!

Mysti: You knew there were cupcakes. Why did you fill up on salad?

Kaiya: Don’t make me eat my own butt! (in an airy voice) I think it’s beautiful.

Kaiya: When I grow up I can be a mommy. When Morgan grows up she can be a sea plane pirate. When the babies grow up they get to be astronauts.

Kaiya amd Morgan: *singing* Old Mc Donald had a farm eieioh, and on that farm he had some underwear eieioh. With some underwear underwear hear and some underwear underwear there eieioh,

Kaiya (wearing a crown and a dress-up wedding dress, looking for her veil): I found it! Now I can be the princess bride!

Kaiya (climbing off a desk): It’s OK. I’m OK. It’s just my hip.

Kaiya ( when having a splinter taken out ): No don’t sew me!

Morgan ( When screaming bloody murder at bed time ) Ah ah ah Daddy I snuggle! Ah ah ah Mommy I snuggle Kaiya!!!!

Kaiya: Mommy I dressed you up like a queen. Now you are as gorgeous as me.

An overdue update

Kaiya: What's in your pocket? *sticks hand in Mysti’s back pocket* A butt? *singing* Smooshy butt smooshy butt. Spank the bottom.

Kaiya: What's pick-pocketing?

Morgan: I some more fruit snacks.
Mysti: No
Morgan: Yes
Mysti: No
Morgan: (grabbes my nose) *giggles* talk like Squidward.

Kaiya: Morgan stop it. I don’t like the enthusiasm!

Morgan: Mom, Kaiya bugs me!
Mysti: What did she do?
Morgan: Kaiya kisses me! I don’t like them.

Kaiya (getting changed out of a fancy dress): Mom the normal Kaiya is coming back now.

Mysti (talking to Viola): Who’s my silly girl?
Evalyn: Sguee *kick*

Mysti: Morgan please stop licking my mascara out of the tube.

Kaiya: I’ve been sucking on my underpants!

Kaiya: Mom I need a two piece swimming suite. It makes it so my beautiful butt doesn’t show.

Kaiya: I’m so proud of you, Mother and Father.

Tom: Now that we have a toaster, we should get some toaster strudel.
Mysti: I’ve never had toasted toaster strudel.

Kaiya had just stabbed the Mysti dragon. Mysti fell down dead and asked, "Now what are you going to do?"
Kaiya said, "Cut you up" and proceeded to pretend to dice Mysti.
When Mysti was all sliced up into little bits, she asked "Now what will you do with me?"
Kaiya said, "Now we eat you!" and merrily started feeding hand-fulls of diced mommy to Evalyn and Viola.

July 26 2010

Kaiya: This is a disaster!
Me: What is a disaster?
Kaiya: I’m all funned out.

Morgan: I want an Aurora birthday party.
Kaiya: I want a dinosaur birthday on my next birthday.
Morgan: I dinosaur too.
Me: Are you sure Morgan, or are you just saying what Kaiya wants?
Morgan: I dinosaur party.
Me: What kind of dinosaur do you want?
Morgan: Ummm Aurora.

Morgan: Mommy a kitty chair, a kitty chair, a kitty, baby awake, crackers!

Kaiya: Daddy, you’re fat.
Tom: I’m not fat.
Kaiya: Yes you are.
…
Tom: It’s not nice to call people fat.
Kaiya: I’m not calling you fat. You’re just fat.
Tom: *laughing*
Kaiya: (Trying to explain why she isn’t insulting Tom) Fat daddies are … fat.

July 22 2010

Kaiya (with a Sothern accent): Morgan, I am the bride. The brides do the cookin’. I am makin’ the food and I have an apron on so that my dress won’t get messy. Do you want to marry me?

Mysti: Morgan we don’t put binkies in our pelvises. Keep toys out of your pelvis and butt.
Mysti: Morgan get that crown out of your but! If you put any more toys in between your butt cheeks today you will go in time out.

Kaiya (Moaning): Ouch oh ouch……
Morgan: Kaiya what’s wrong?
Kaiya: I’m hurt and dying.
Kaiya (to me): Morgan just hurted me very badly.

Kaiya (Handing me a sticker with the letter B on it): Mom I just want you to have this so you will remember your father. It will just remind you of him.

Three days of cute.

Kaiya: Mommy I am so sick I need a special Breakfast in bed. I want to come help you make it!
Morgan: I sick too. I help make breakfast in bed too!

Morgan: Mommy we go to church today?
Me: No Morgan not today. We go on Sunday.
Morgan: Yeah and I cry and cry.
Me: Yes you do. You like to go. Why do you always cry?
Morgan (after a pause to think): Ummmm Cause I happy.

Kaiya (to her friend Sadie): It is such a lovely day to have a lunch date. This food tastes so nice. What a lovely lunch!
Kaiya (again to her friend Sadie): I am eating and drinking. My body is making poop and pee.
Sadie: I am making tea.
Kaiya: No Sadie I said PEE.
Sadie: Well I am making Tea!
Kaiya: I am making all different kinds of pee and poop.

Kaiya: Mommy I just love you so much. Can I keep you forever?
Me: Of course you can. I want to have you forever too.
Kaiya: Can I have you all to my self now?

Kaiya: Mommy it’s snuggle o’clock. Time to snuggle me.

Morgan: Mommy let’s play yoga.
Morgan (trying to do a tree pose): Look at me I so tricky.

Classic Kaiya and Morgan quotes.

Kaiya, Age 2.
Mysti: Kaiya! Behave!
Kaiya: OK, Mommy. I’m “hāv”now.

Kaiya, Age 3. Morgan, Age 2. (Morgan kept wandering off in public places, so we finally broke down and bought a harness. The first time we put it on her…)
Kaiya: Can I walk the Morgan?

Weekends are fun.

Kaiya (with a southern accent): I love the Princess and the Slimy Little Frog.

Morgan: I love the new jumpoline

Morgan: Mama, look I dropped my nose.

Kaiya: Mommy, you do good work taking care of your kids. I am so proud of you! *kiss*

Morgan ( Dressed up like Tinker Bell with sunglasses that have only one lens. ) Look at me! I a pretty princess. I had a fight.

Kaiya: I like the “bug the Morgan” game. It’s my favorite.

Morgan to Kaiya: Come inside now, dear.

Morgan: Do you like that, sweet heart?
Kaiya: No, you’re “sweet heart”. I’m “sweet pea”.

Building the Playhouse.
Tom: It’s a good thing I have you as my helper, huh?
Kaiya: Yeah. If you didn’t, it would look ugly.

Building a play house.

Kaiya: Oh dang! I dropped my ketchup.

Kaiya (Pretending to talk into a microphone): Attention everyone! Look at me, Kaiya. Now I can tell you all about building. When building be sure to build a play house not a doll house. It isn’t for Cinderella, but you can dress like Cinderella for parties and then go into the play house. Be sure to not go near the bugs. They may sting you. That is all.

Kaiya: Dad, I have to wear my wedding dress to bed. *pout* You just don't understand!

4th of July

Kaiya (wielding a microphone): Say your name and what you like.
Tom (into the microphone): My name is daddy. Some people call me Tom. I’m a Capricorn. I like long walks on the beach, getting caught in the rain and Piña coladas.
Kaiya (into the microphone): Hi, my name is Kaiya. I like giant robots. I cap them with a ray gun and put them in the bathtub.

Kaiya: Yeah!! Daddy didn’t light himself on fire!!

Morgan: Ooooooh! I like the Starklers!

Hug = Broken Pinky

Kaiya: Oh Mom! Why do I have to put cloths on?

Kaiya (To Morgan): Haha now you have to go to sleep!

Tom: I'm not going to get Kaiya Rice Crispies again for a long time.
Kaiya: No! I want them for a long time!

Morgan: It's morning! *turns light on*
Mysti (waking up): Noooo. Morning hurts.

Tom (to Kaiya): Oh, don’t break my pinky. I’m just hugging you.

First Post!

Kaiya: Dad, I saved all the poop for ya’.

Tom: Don’t “RAWR” with your mouth full.

Mysti: Keep moving Morgan. The monkey isn’t going to bite you.

Kaiya: Oh I have always wanted to get shots in my arms. Mom why did they give me shots in my arms.

Tom: Get your toes out of my crack!

Kaiya: *singing* Hail to the Queen! Hail to me! Oops, I fell off my throne.

Kaiya (About Morgan): Mom she’s evil. Will you get her out of the tub?

Morgan: No I don’t want to be the cheese. Don’t eat me!

Kaiya (To Tom): You know Grandma Hood? … Your mom?