No scampering. 10/11/13

Morgan: Hey Kaiya, remember when you made that beaver that sees it's shadow?
Kaiya: Huh?
Mysti: That is a groundhog, you silly.
Morgan: Oh...what?
Mysti: Morgan, I love that to you most fuzzy brown animals are just beavers.


Evalyn (runs into the bathroom yelling while I am in the shower): Mama, I need your help!
Mysti: What's wrong.
Evalyn: I need one, two, three and one suckers!
Mysti: You do?  You need one, two, three and one suckers?
Evalyn: Yeah, I do, and this one (pointing to her thumb) is a blue sucker.


Mysti: Kaiya, why don't you get dressed and come play in the yard with me?
Kaiya: Psh! Cloths are for suckers! ...Not that you're a sucker mom.


Morgan: Bow to your queen!!


Morgan: I finished my food so fast.  It's like it just Spanished into thin air.


Tom: Ssshhh. No scampering.

My damage... 10/10/13

Viola: Mom, what's your damage?
Mysti: ... What?
Viola: Yeah, and where are your boobs?

Tom: If you are going to do something, do it kind of right.

Viola: ATTACK!
Tom: Eak!  I'm getting attacked in the butt.

A walking and talking puppy. 10/21/2013

Kaiya: Mom, if a bad guy broke into our house and he was allergic to squeaks Evelyn and I would make him sneeze a lot.

Viola: Dad, I'm not a puppy!  I'm just Buddy. See I'm not a puppy because I'm can talk and walk.
Viola: Dad, now I'm a talking puppy.  Call me talking puppy, Buddy.

Kaiya (about the bug in her room): I have it surrounded with toilet paper, but it won't last for long. It's a tricky little fella!

Viola: Sssshhhh, be quiet or else the boys will hear you and kill you. So just be quiet okay.? (She was only imagining that homicidal boys were at our house.)

Morgan (while doing homework) But! (laughs) Like this butt! (shakes her butt at me)

Viola: Look at this book! (it's a Barbie cook book) This book is about dirty diapers. It has a lot of dirty diapers in it.

Evalyn: Mommy, I love ya!  I just need you.

Tom: This guy is in the hospital dying with pneumonia.
Mysti: I'm so sorry about your coworker.
Tom: He might pull through poor guy. It's a bummer.
Mysti: Did you really just say that?  "It's a bummer."
Tom: You love me.  I help you with your study of the male social dynamics.
Mysti: You are my study of many things.
Tom: Day number 382, Tom is starting to suspect that he is being studied.

Mysti: Why does my mail have my name as "Mysh Hood" so often. "Mysh" really?

Mysti: Tom, pro tip, never turn your back on Viola for more than a minute.
Tom: That is a good tip.

Twin fun 10/16/2013

Mysti: Evey, I love you.  Could you be any cuter?
Evalyn: Uh huh. (then she starts prancing around the room and squeaking.)


Viola: It's time for the snuggles!

Obey me, I'm your queen! 10/13/2013

Morgan: Get back hear you. Fruit Loops, obey me, I'm your queen!

Morgan: Mom, I don't want muffins can I have peanut butter and jelly instead? Can I have cereal, anything else?
Mysti: Sure we can do that.  You don't have to eat muffins.  They are too delicious anyway.
Morgan: But I want muffins.  Why can't I have them?
Mysti (to Tom): Chicks man!

Moms are for cuddling. 10/12/2013

Evalyn: (farts while snuggling Mysti) Mom, I just farted at ya! (giggles)

Viola: Daddy, you can't snuggle me!  You are for rough housing.  Only mom is for cuddles.

How to deal with sad babies. 10/11/2013

Evalyn: Mom, these babies are sad. Aww, the little babies. Now I need to tie them up.

Kaiya: Happy! Happy!
Morgan: What does that even mean?
Kaiya: It means that I'm happy!

Viola: (runs up to Mysti in nothing but underwear) Mom, I need to go cook!
Mysti: I think daddy just finished watching a show about people doing that...
(Tom had just finished watching Breaking Bad a week earlier.)

Fist bumps and sparkles! 10/9/2013

Viola: I was hitting the door with my bones.
Mysti: You did?  Did you hit it with your fist?
Viola: Yeah!  Like this.  (She holds up her two fists for a fist bump)


Mysti: What's the family rule?
Morgan: Not in the face or pelvis.
Mysti: That's right.

Vilola: Mom, those socks are so fluffy and cozy.  (she sits on my foot) Ahh, this is so nice.  I love the fluffy socks.

Tom: My zombie repellent shirt has sparkles all over it!

Evalyn: Mommy, you can't go any ware.  You can't go because I love ya.

Don't be weak. 10/7/13

Kaiya: Remember when I went on the big ride at six flags and the workers almost gave me another ride because I used my cuteness?  My puppy face always works on people who are weak to cute things.

So Old Fashioned. 10/5/2013

Kaiya: What's a dictionary?  Why don't they just look it up online?  A dictionary sounds so old fashioned.

Evalyn: Mommy, look at me I'm sliding like a penguin.  Quack, quack, quack!  Look I'm jumping like a penguin too!

Evalyn: Daddy, I'm a queen.  Do you want to come in my castle and you can be a  ... guy?

Tom: Alright girls quick anatomy lesson.  This area is what we call a pelvis.  It is a pelvis but the pelvis is actually this whole area.  (gestures to his entire pelvis area) This area in between the legs is called a crotch.
Kaiya: What?! That's a silly name.  It should be called the pelvis.
Tom: I know. We say pelvis because it sounds better than Crotch. Crotch just sounds so ... ugh. Pelvis just rolls off the tongue better.
(Whispers to Mysti) That sounded dirty.
Morgan: Pelvis really does sound better than crotch.

Viola: I'm the queen of the queen castle. Morgan you aren't the queen!  You are just a neckey butt!

The thing called a soul, the Dude and a slap in the face.

I was walking into the family room to read with Kaiya when I heard this behind me.

Kaiya whispering to no one that I could see: I have this thing called a soul, now shut your pie holes...




We had some friends over for a play date.  The mom is a single lady who had her daughter who is six on her own.  She has been divorced for about ten years.

Aliah, the friend: My mom was married.
Morgan, to the mom: What?! You found a dude?!
Cheryl, the mom: No no dudes for me.  They take too much work and time.




Evalyn was singing to me and drumming on a pillow.

Evey: La la lala la. La la lala la. La la lala la! La la lala la, to slap in the face..
She took the pillow and back handed me in the face with it as she sweetly sang "slap in the face".



Viola: I'm not a princess!
Mysti: That's fine, you don't have to be a princess.
Viola: I will never be a princess!
Mysti: OK then, that's fine.
Viola: No! Because I will be a Batman!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit.

In many ways my life is full of magic and love.  I was given the gift of both last March.  My little Kaiya gave me both and for the first time in my life I became real.  She didn't even know that she did something magic and it made it even more special.

The day started out normal with one small change of my daughter waking up with a fever and having to stay home form school.  Like I do most mornings I turned on a show for my little girls to watch while I exercised on my elliptical.  After about a half hour she came in to talk to me and said that I was looking beautiful. (I wasn't looking beautiful at all.  I had been working out.  I was sweaty and was in worn out yoga pants and a sports bra. My hair was in a messy bun.  I had been having a hard time feeling good about myself at all for quite a while.)  I was stunned and stopped moving. Then she came over to me and gave me a hug.  Told me that I would always be beautiful because I am pretty on both the in side and outside and that the inside pretty is the most important kind of pretty.

I gave her a hug and told her that she was special and that I was so glad to have her in my life.  Then she went back to watch her movie and rest.  She didn't know that she had made me feel truly special and loved for the first time.  She didn't know that she had done magic.  Some day I will tell her about this when she is old enough to understand it.  Until then I will keep it in my heart and be glad every day that I am luck enough to know such an amazing person.    

How to fight bad guys.

(Kayia - On fighting bad guys)
Kaiya: Muscles are good for fighting bad guys... To deathness. Which is good, 'cause we have guns, and we have fists. And feet to kick!

Kaiya: If there were any bad guys around here, we would shoot them or punch them or kick them in the face, and it would hurt them for real.

Kaiya: If there were an alien near our house we would just shoot it with a gun and punch it 'till it's dead. And then we would THROW IT ON THE GROUND! (to the tune of “Throw it on the Ground” SNL Digital Short)
Mysti: Would it cry?
Kaiya: No. It would be dead.

Kaiya: We'll make up new hurting moves as we go along that's different each time and new each time.

Morgan: Mommy, can I have some candy.
Mytsti: No.
Morgan: Mommy, Yes. I need my candy. Yes.

Morgan: Sausage is like meat marshmallows.

Kaiya: Dad, can we light this on fire?

Royal Ascension, Electricity and a Dancing Prima Donna

(Kaiyia and Mysti are playing barbies. Kaiya is being Cinderella and Mysti is being Snow White)
Kaiya: *in a Cinderella voice* Today I am going to become queen. My mom and dad died because they were attacked by aliens. I hid and didn’t get hurt except for a gonk on the head. I am a tough girl. My parents should have been tough and smart and hid like me.

(Tom is trying to explain wiring to Kaiya.)
Tom: See the wire running to that light? Electricity runs along that wire and lights up the bulb.
Kaiya: Oh... that sounds pretty boring.
Tom: It does? Oh...
Mysti: Kaiya, glitter pens are fun and pretty right?
Kaiya: Yes, they are so fun.
Tom: I think electricity is fun.
Kaiya: Nope it’s pretty boring.

(Morgan is dressed up like Cinderella. Mysti came up and started dancing with her, then this happened.)
Morgan: (with her fists on her hips) Mom, you can’t spin me! (Folds her arms and fixes Mysti with a withering glare.) It is my life!!!

Santa Power!

Kaiya (pretending a box is Santa's slay and she is Santa): I have presents in the back for all the people. To make them happy. With Santa Power.

Morgan: Mommy look what I have. (holds up a small toy)
Mysti: Nice! Did you find that?
Morgan: No! I found it!

Morgan (pretending to be a baby): *yelling* GOO GOO GOO!!!!
Kaiya: That isn't a very nice thing to say.

Morgan: I not shy. I Morgan, and I three.

My complements to the baby!

Morgan (whine voice): Mom, Kaiya kicked me!
Mysti: What happened?
Morgan: Kaiya kicked me. *pout lip*
Mysti: I know that part. Why did she kick you?
Mysti: Kaiya, why did you kick Morgan?
Kaiya: She was being mean to me!
Mysti: How was she mean to you?
Kaiya: She was going “Rar rar rar, I am being mean to you!”.
Mysti: I don’t think that is what she was doing.
Kaiya: She did for real!

(Tom is talking to Evalyn in the morning.)
Tom: That is a very full dipper, very full indeed. My complements to the baby.

Kaiya: She hurt my head - my beautiful, beautiful head.

Kaiya: Mom, Evey’s steeling my lunch! My kitty lunch!

Kaiya: Mom, I’m going through a growth spurt.
Mysti: That is so great!
Morgan: I want to go to! Where are we going?

The leatherback VS the maned wolves!

Kaiya: Mom lets play a game!
Mysti: I would love to. What would you like to play?
Kaiya: Mom, I’m a leatherback sea turtle. I am going to lay my eggs. You are Diego, and you need to keep the wolves away while I hide them.
( Kaiya pretends to swim and says “swim swim swim swim” while pretending.)
Kaiya: Now I dig a nest. (pretends to dig) Dig dig dig dig. (pretends to lay the eggs) Lay lay lay (pretends to cover up her eggs) bury bury bury berry. Smooth smooth smooth smooth.
Mysti: OK I kept the wolfs away, and I will protect your eggs for you.
Kaiya: Now I am going to go for a swim. You watch my eggs. (pretends to swim off) swim swim swim swim.
Kaiya: Help help help! I got trapped in a net by maned wolves!
Mysti: OK. I am getting in my boat.
Kaiya: Hurry hurry! They have me hanging over a volcano full of hot lava!!!
Mysti: I am coming fast to save you. (Mysti pretends to climb the volcano couch and rescue her.)
Kaiya: Lets hurry back to my babies.
Mysti: Climb in the boat and we will go.
( They make it back just in time to see the eggs hatch. What a great day with all of the turtles safe! )

I like me!

(Kaiya had a scratch on her pinky finger and the next day we made baking soda volcanoes. Kaiya and Morgan spent about a half hour splashing in the goo until the scratch started to sting. Tom put a band-aid on it for her then she said this.)
Kaiya: Mom, look I have a booboo. It’s OK though, because now I can hold a tea cup. (mimes holding a cup) Look my pinky is already up!

Jordan (a cousin): Morgan who do you like better BYU or Utah?
Morgan: I like Morgan.

Kaiya: I love everyone on our world because they are so kind and sweet to me.

Morgan: I want the pink cereal. Pink is yummy.

Who you calling Sucker?

Morgan: Mommy, where we going?
Mysti: I think I’m going crazy. I think you are going to drive.
Morgan: No! I have to be in the back, in my car seat.

Kaiya: Abooga booga booga! I’m nocturnal.
Morgan: Booga booga booga! I’m a turtle.

Morgan: I want an ice pop! I want an ice pop! Ice pop! Ice pop!
Mysti: Morgan, Good things come to those who wait.
Morgan: Huh? Give me an ice pop.

Morgan: My ice pop is all gone.
Kaiya: Than get another one, Sucker.
Morgan: I not a sucker, I Morgan.

Beware the robot pirates!

Morgan (tattling voice): Mom, the baby is playing with me.
Mysti: OK thanks for letting me know.
Mysti (to Viola): Good girl keep playing with your big sister.

Kaiya and Morgan: Aarrrggghhhh we are robot pirates!
Kaiya: We came to fight bad guys. *starts chopping Mysti’s leg with a sward*
Mysti: Aarrgghh That be me wooden leg. Ye can’t hurt a bad guy pirate’s wooden leg!
Kaiya: *starts punching Mysti in the butt* Punch Punch! You can’t hurt us because we have shiny armor on that makes it so we can’t get hurt!

Morgan: Mom I want some more chocolate cake.
Mysti: Oh no this is broccoli cake!
Morgan (Thinks about this) Mom, No it isn’t!

Kaiya: (to Mysti) I will always draw pictures for you, because I love you.

Morgan: Hi friend.
Kaiya: My name is not friend, it is Princess!